As of 45 minutes ago, my heart is aching. My heart hurts for my little Jack. When I take the boys to school every morning, I make sure and walk Jack to his classroom door to make sure he makes it there with his lunch and his backpack. But this morning wasn't as smooth going as our typical days. This morning slapped me in to reality and made me very aware of the mean that can happen in this world. I know all little kids can be mean at times, but it always hurts when someone is mean toward your own child. A helpless little kid. A little boy in his class was behind him in line to go to class and kept taunting Jack and finally said, "I'll NEVER be your friend, Jack, because you are so weird. You make other people feel weird." And then proceeded to cut him in line. I SO wanted to run up and slap that little boy. I just went up to him and quietly said, "Do you know how much you just hurt Jack's feelings? That was a very mean thing you said to Jack." Then I looked back at Jack, his big puppy dog eyes welling up with tears. There was nothing I could do or say to take that sadness away from him. I felt a little bit helpless. Jack is already starting to realize that he is 'different'. He wonders why it's not so easy for him to make friends on the playground when it is second nature to his older brother and younger sister. I just hugged him, told him to have a Fantastic Friday and try to play with kids that are nice to him. He said there is only one boy that is nice to him, Marcus. I was so thankful for Marcus and his parents at that moment for teaching their son to be kind to everyone. I wanted to break down and cry, but I saved that 'til I got in the car to come home. I had to send Jack in to the world with sad eyes and it broke my heart. I called and told his teacher to be extra kind to Jack today because he was a bit sensitive this morning, she said she would make sure to. So my plea to all the mother's that read my blog, teach your kids to be kind. Teach them that just because someone may act or think differently than your kid, that they still have feelings, that they can still feel hurt and alone. Teach them to love one another. Teach them to respect other's feelings. Teach them to be patient. Teach them to be aware of differences. Teach them to try to include everyone. Teach them to say Hello to someone who may be all alone. I hate that I had to leave Jack this morning. I just wanted to scoop him up, hold him, and take him on a special date. Take him to McDonalds for his favorite treat, a yogurt parfait. But instead, I sent him to school, because he must learn the hard lessons in life. He must learn that life can be hard at times. He must learn to be independent. I will plan on going to lunch to see how he's doing in a couple of hours. Until then, I will be worried and sad. I know that this is just a part of life, but it still just doesn't seem fair.
6 comments:
Oh my gosh. That just pulls at my heart. I can not believe how mean kids can be. Poor Jack. And you.
He is a tough boy and will bounce back. Glad you're going to lunch!
That breaks my heart! It is so hard to see our babies hurting. I hope that his day goes better, and yours too!
sniffle....This really tugged at my heart strings. I want to fly over there and scoop little Jack up and give him lots of love. How can anyone NOT like Jack? I feel the way you do Tiffy. It just hurts so much to see your kids hurt. I hope your plea to moms who read this will be taken to heart and that their children will be taught today to accept everyone, because we are all God's children. Jack is one of the special ones. I love you Jack.
Tiffany--
I read your story and had some aches for you and for Jack. One of my own little people struggles and has been the brunt of bus and playground bullying. One thing that you must remember (and you did it), is that you are your child's best advocate. If you don't stick up for your child, no one will. You need to tell the teacher and even the principle exactly what is happening and ask them what they are going to do to promote the emotional safety and security of children at school. Right now, all teachers and administrators are very aware of the later effects of bullying and unkind words and should have an action plan in place. I would back off as Jack gets older, because obviously, he needs to fight his battles, but right now, he is still too little. But, as another commenter said, kids are resilient, and they will learn, even the bullies...that they need to be kind. You did the right thing, in talking to the bully. I talked to the child that was tormenting my kid while I was volunteering once in a very kind way, but I basically told him the way he was treating my child was unacceptable (again in a kind way). My son came home that day ecstatic that this child had allowed him to play on the tire swing!:) Anyway, invite friends over just for Jack and encourage these friendships...talk with these friends' mothers, if they are good and kind people they should respond. Good luck. It is heartbreaking.
Tiffy...I'm crying really hard right now...I love Jack more than anything and this really just broke my heart. I will ALWAYS teach my kids to be extra sweet. Poor little Jack. I just want to kill that mean little boy!
That was heart breaking! I am sorry Tiff! Thank you for that blog - a reminder that we need to teach our children love, kindness, generosity, and care. Love you guys - kisses to Jack! "The Golden Rule is the Key to Life"
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